Some call it a hobby. Others call it an addiction. I call it mostly entertaining. Mostly…
1. He creates twice the amount of laundry.
It’s not like no one else in the house does any physical activity. You run and workout multiple times a week and have a teenager that plays three different sports with practices or games almost every day. But somehow Mr. Ultrarunner’s dirty clothes dwarf everyone else’s.
* his * * mine *
2. He drops money and gets giddy at REI like you do at Target.
A quick trip to pick up a few gels (a.k.a. “fuel and hydration”) for some weekend training runs (a few hundred miles of trails) = a small fortune. And there are always, always extra “finds” (like more Injinji toe socks) while there.
3. He has constantly mutating and procreating amounts of gear and mementos.
Trying to find a “home” for all of it is sort of like solving a Rubik’s cube and it’s full of stuffing that keeps popping out.
A drawer for gloves; a drawer for swimming goggles (more cross training);
and a drawer for chargers and ear phones. Always some random stuff on top that doesn’t get put away.
A bike adapted for indoor cross-training, bags to take to the gym and on training runs, regular and hydration backpacks, hats, glove & shoe dryer, jackets for varying weather and seasons, and lots and lots of shoes.
Everything from night gear (reflective vests & blinking lights), first aid supplies, a hydration belt, snacks, different types of “fuel,” race bibs, and random leftover stuff.
Water bottles. That is all.
The trophy shelf that’s out of space.
The medal hanger that’s out of space.
4. Then there’s the clothing…
He has more running clothes than everyone else’s clothing in the house combined. Well, maybe not everyone. But close. And it keeps growing because with every race there’s a new shirt.
Shorts and short sleeved running shirts and running shorts.
Long sleeved running shirts.
5. And the magazines….
Notice the plastic wrap around a few of them. Because who has time to read magazines when when you’re running all the time? Also notice the race medal on the table. That’s from the most recent race and it has no “home” because the medal holder is so full that we need another one. See #3.
6. He goes through shoes faster than they can make them.
After 2 1/2 weeks of use. These are designed to last 400 – 600 miles.
Less than a year’s worth.
7. You’ve seen stains and smelled smells on his clothing that you never knew were possible.
Sometimes it comes out smelling and looking like it hasn’t seen the washer even though lengthy “heavy duty” settings and special “sport wash” detergents are employed.
Exhibit A: his shirt after running with a hydration pack for eight or so hours.
8. He eats.
A lot. And doesn’t gain weight as long as he’s training. If he finds himself unable to run for awhile due to, say a wedding, extended honeymoon, and a lot of work to catch up on… well he might find that the ultrarunner calorie count without the ultra training does catch up to him
9. A fun time on a Friday night involves a film festival about trail running.
And free beer.
10. His Facebook indicates that he’s slightly interested in the sport.
11. He has all kinds of therapeutic contraptions.
That look more like torture devices.
12. You never know where you might find skin from his blistered, calloused feet….
13. His sense of time and distance is highly different than that of the general population.
He’s falling asleep when Prime Time TV comes on and wakes up to to run when every college-aged kid is just going to bed. On weekends he runs marathons as training and it’s not unusual for one of his training runs to last longer than a person works in a day.
14. Did I mention the laundry?
So tell me, who else out there can relate?? Give me a shout, I need to someone to laugh with!
What did I miss?